I know you've all been waiting for another product review to help you spice up your bedroom time and today is the day for more recommendations! I've been busy getting busy to give you the low down on what works wonders and what doesn't, so you don't waste your time and money on useless crap. Here's the inside scoop from one pelvic pain warrior to another.
Up first, we have my new favorite organic lubes from Coconu! I love that these were created by a couple wanting a lubricant for themselves that wasn't loaded with chemicals. Lucky for us, they created the first USDA certified organic coconut lubricant with natural ingredients, so those of us with Vulvodynia don't have to worry about irritation from glycerin or propylene glycol (if you have Dyspareunia and you're still using lubes containing these ingredients PLEASE STOP). Back to Coconu! They have an oil based lube for external play and a water based for internal, so I bought both, with no regrets. I tried the oil based first for outercourse and let me tell you, it is THICK. I mean that in the best way. It basically forms a layer around whatever you apply it to, so that it stays put and doesn't dry up, leaving you chafe free.
I've been testing the water based lube with my dilators and silicone toys before giving it a test with sex and I have to say, I was just as impressed! I'm not generally a fan of water based, since they dry up so quickly and just don't feel as great to me, but this one stands the test of time. It has a kind of runny texture that slides off of whatever you apply it to immediately, which is off putting and seems gross at first, but if you anticipate this happening you can catch it and slide it around real quick to coat the object. While I did have to reapply the lube each time I changed positions for sex, I'm amazed at how easy it made things work! Like, it wasn't a struggle to get anything in, penis or dilator, just they just slip right in! Since these are both coconut based they have a slightly yellow tinge that is both unusual and hard to get used to, but don't let it discourage you, because these are legitimately solid products! I have to remind myself during clean up that I don't have an infection and it's just the lube's strange color when I look down. These both cost a pretty penny, but you can buy them together in a combo pack, like I did, which I think is absolutely worth it.
Now on to sex toys. What have you been using on your own or for intimacy with a partner? I posted about my trusty little bullet recently that's been my go to for solo or partnered play, but I also ordered a rather large g-spot vibrator recently, out of curiosity. Now different sensations work for different people, so what doesn't work for me may work for you, and vice versa, but I personally don't recommend the Bump & Grind by Pure Romance. It turned out to be much larger than it looked in the photo, and frankly, an awkward shape in general. The neck is slimmer, since it goes between the PC muscle, but the larger head you have to push through the muscle to get inside you is not the best feeling if you have Vaginismus. I was hoping the thumping sensation against the g-spot caused by the vibration would be a good feeling, but I actually find it very disconcerting. Hitting the g-spot can make you feel like you need to urinate, so that obviously doesn't sound very sexy, but I was hoping to push through the feeling to find something more pleasurable on the other side. This didn't occur. It's a nice feature that you can have 2 different vibrations going at once, but it still didn't do anything positive for me. I do, however, still need to try it clitorally and see if that works. I just haven't because it's so large and cumbersome that it seems like it will be annoying to use it this way. Bump & Grind is the 2nd vibrator from Pure Romance that has left me utterly disappointed, in addition to a shave cream that makes me cut myself, a massage ball that leaves me itchy, and a tingling nipple balm that makes me feel nothing. As a matter of fact, the only products I regularly use from them are the toy cleaning spray, the after shave mist, and the Miracle Oil, so I don't think I'm going to order from them anymore. I have 2 sets of lingerie and they are both ok, nothing special or overly sexy. I honestly think the company was made just to rip off lonely, rich, house wives, so I don't want to support their organization anymore. There are far better women owned and founded companies out there with cheaper and better quality products to be had!
Up next, condoms! I haven't had much experience with them, to be honest, as I've been on birth control and in monogamous relationships most of my adult life, so I asked some guy friends what their preferences are. One of the recommendations I received was for Durex's Invisible Ultra Thin Ultra Sensitive, which is thinner for more sensation, but still strong enough to keep from breaking, and I must say, it was a win for me! I'm used to using this awful, cheap, thick rainbow ones that I ordered years ago, 100 condoms for $20 or some shit, because I would put them on my silicone dilators so I could use silicone lube to dilate. This really helped me when I got stuck and couldn't move up in size. Anyway, back to Durex, I am shocked by how much I could feel through this condom! It's so common for me to have the same experience each time I try penetration where the guy goes limp because he can't feel enough, since our thrusting is so minimal, but he stayed in the whole time! Even when I was stroking him to get him hard again it almost felt like I was touching his skin. Color me impressed. These are a bit on the pricey side, much like the other products I've covered in this post, but that's because you get what you pay for, right? Also, quality over quantity!
And finally, Honey Pot Company's Herbal Infused Pantiliners are putting a swing back into my step. These lovely little ladies are thin and comfy, so perfect for days with a light flow, but you can also just wear them if you are wanting to protect your panties from discharge or need a cooling sensation to soothe your Vulvodynia. I discovered these babies not too long ago and was surprised to see that many of Honey Pot's plant based products are sold in Target! They're not some underground brand that only pelvic pain sufferers know about from Instagram. But speaking of Insta, the black woman who created this company loves to do live video interviews with doctors and other relevant spokeswomen in the industry so I highly recommend you follow them @honeypotco now. These pantiliners are made with aloe vera, mint, rose, and lavender, with no parabens, chlorine, pesticides, or fragrances, leaving you feeling fresh and clean. I now carry a couple with me in my purse every day, just in case. I can't leave the house without them!
I hope reading through what helps me with sex has helped some of you on your journey towards overcoming. I will always keep you posted as I find more things that work (or don't) because you know I don't just give positive reviews. We're in this together and I want to share any small victories I have with you all so I can inspire you to keep pushing forward. You will have your moment in the sun (or bed, or couch) soon, too! :D