I told myself during quarantine that I was going to make masturbation a priority and, surprise surprise, I didn't really. I bought a book and some more toys, but I ultimately didn't study or experiment all that much to learn exciting new ways to get off. I've always been the type to feel like I really need a partner. Not that I need one, but I prefer one, for sure. All the same, it's still helpful to explore your body and discover what you like (and don't like) so you can communicate that to your partner, even if you don't actively masturbate on your own. Mutual masturbation can be fun, too! There are so many options out there that I just wanted to bring some tools to your attention in case they make help you get in the mood.
My favorite go to toy now is Crave's classic bullet. It's sleek and metal, like all of their toys, and packs a powerful punch for something so small. The top half is wrapped with a silicone cover, so it's soft and comfy (meaning you can't use silicone lube on it). The button is big and located on the bottom, making it easy to press. It has 4 different vibration settings to try (low, medium, high, and pulsing). Best of all, it's waterproof so it can be taken anywhere, like in the bathtub. As with most modern day vibrators, it comes with a USB charging device, not batteries, so you should make sure you keep it charged before use. I did a buy one get one free deal, so it was worth every penny, because now I have an extra should the first one break.
If you have trouble getting turned on in the context of being alone in your bedroom (see responsive desire) then you may want to try an erotica app made by women for women. Dipsea was founded by a brand strategist, Gina, and a software engineer, Faye. They wanted to create a feminist app that would help empower women so they can tap into their sexuality on their own terms, and thus Dipsea was born. It has stories where you can listen to someone reading the erotica aloud, whereas another erotica app, Rosy, has written stories you can read. Dipsea costs a small fee, but you are charged for the year, so make sure you get your use out of it. They have various categories, such as Vacation, BDSM, Zero to Sixty, and Rough & Wild, but they also have Sleep Stories and make recommendations for you based off of your previous listens. I wasn't sure how to feel about it initially, but I've found that having a guy talk me through sex has really helped with my Vaginismus, so the idea of a man talking to me through the app eases my troubles, too. I've found that I'd rather listen to a guy talking than the girl narrating, but that's just my personal preference.
The Rosy app was created by Dr. Lyndsey Harper, who I follow on Instagram, to help spread sexual wellness information to women like her patients who may suffer from low libido. Thus, the quiz you take when you log in will give you a score and let you know your progress on having more pleasurable sex (with or without a partner). Rosy also separates its stories into categories, such as Romantic, Kinky, or LGBT. There is a free version, which is nice and what I have, but more comes with the paid one. There are educational videos on Menopause, Pelvic Floor Disorders, Female Anatomy; classes on orgasm and body acceptance; and even a telehealth section where you can book an appointment with a sexual health expert. Both of these apps have blogs, as well, for added information on sexual topics. My problem with Rosy is that the erotica stories were littered with spelling errors (bad ones, like misspelling the words "shower" and "cock"). I also wished that the stories I read didn't use such male driven language towards penetration (ie: pounding) since that's pretty triggering to read as a Vaginismus sufferer. I emailed the creator to ask if she could make a separate category for non-penetrative sexual encounters (Dipsea will label its stories with "oral" or what have you, and I appreciate that) and to report the repeated spelling issues. She addressed the former, but not the latter, which rubbed me the wrong way. I know not everyone is an English major like myself, and may just glide over a misspelled word, but it's unprofessional to publish something that way and then charge people money for it. I haven't used the app since that experience.
For examples of other sex toys to try, you can read some of my other blogs and product reviews. Everyone is different, so be sure to experiment with various speeds, pulses, frequencies, materials, and motions, such as circling, or short or long strokes. Make sure to try many lubes, as well, to see which one best suits you. Also keep in mind that while most women orgasm from their clitoris, many women can also orgasm from deep penetration, the G spot, their nipples, or any other erogenous zone on the body. Explore all areas before you give up or decide you know which one gives you the most intense pleasure. You just might surprise yourself!