Today I wanted to share an experience I had about a month ago while I was dropping in at Walgreens. My friend and I were picking up a piece of pie next door and he needed some allergy meds so we made a pit stop at the drugstore. We walked in and separated because I always check out the lubes and such any time I pass through a Walgreens or CVS. As I stood in front of the rows of Monistat, condoms, and KY, I overheard an older woman's voice emanating from the pharmacy. I looked up and spotted her questioning the pharmacist about a minty lube with a cooling sensation.
"I'm 78, you see. I'm small down there, closed up. I need this lube to make it tolerable. My boyfriend just won't give up," she said. I was the recommended 6 feet away, but she was speaking rather loudly, so I could hear her very personal conversation without having to try. My interest was piqued and I couldn't stop listening as she desperately begged this pharmacist to locate this particular lube for her. I knew it wouldn't be proper for me to just approach a complete stranger and see if I could assist her with her intimate life, but being the person that I am, I really wanted to help.
"I bet you're not looking for the same thing I am," she said as walked up next to me in front of the lubricants. "Actually, you might be surprised," I responded. I explained that I couldn't help but overhear her conversation and I could relate, I have Vaginismus, too. She told me about this infamous lube she was searching for and I told her she should be using silicone based lube, not water, if she's having issues with being dry because it lasts longer. She told me her husband passed away 2 years ago and even though she would be perfectly happy with just companionship at this point in her life her boyfriend insists that they keep trying to have sex. She had been through radiation and that's why she shrunk up and now has pain with penetration, but she still masturbates with toys. My eyes bulged out of my face as I stood in awe of this woman. Here she was, 78-years-old, in pain but continuing to work on it for the sake of her relationship and still making time separately for her own, individual pleasure. She was an inspiration and my new hero.
Since her biggest issue was just being dry, she was post-Menopausal after all, I recommended a lube shooter (pictured above) to her, to allow for internal lubrication to accompany what is applied externally. I told her that having one of my Bartholin's glands cut during surgery makes me half Menopausal so I have that problem internally, too. She asked where she could get a shooter and I told her I get mine at a sex shop. "Oh, fun! I've never been to one of those before!" she replied. "Do they have any here in Katy?" This woman was on a roll and grabbed a pen and paper from the pharmacist to write everything down. She was thrilled about the idea of purchasing an OhNut and aloe vera based lube and vitamins from Desert Harvest, too. We discussed dilating to stretch the PC muscle and I realized the last bit of advice I had for her was to get a consultation with my physical therapist, who happened to work around the corner from the store. I haven't been there in a year and a half so the name of the clinic was slipping my mind, but sure enough when it came to me and I told her she was already a patient there for other parts of her body! It's a small world after all. She had no idea pelvic floor therapy existed so I gave her the jist of manual manipulation, pelvic stretches, and biofeedback. For more information on what a physical therapist does for the pelvic region you can read my detailed blog here.
We talked and laughed for about 20 minutes and the 45 years between us felt like nothing. She asked me to invoice her for my services and I let her know this is something I enjoy and don't plan to charge for it. This is why I do what I do. From a random, happenstance occurence I made someone's day just by showing a bit of concern and kindness. I saw the annoyed expression on the pharmacist's face and it made me burn because I've been in that position so many times myself: asking a simple question of someone who should be doing their job and having them look aggravated and respond in the least helpful way possible. With as many of us who have suffered interactions such as these the least I can do is be a light in the dark to help point lost women in the right direction. The world needs more people who are willing to spread knowledge of little known topics and I aim to be one of the ones doing just that.